Being Alone with Another

There are so many types of being alone, we can be completely alone in our physical space, in our emotional space, in our relationships, our work. When we define what being alone means to us, it is always going to look different depending on our own experiences.

It is said that one of the worst ways to feel alone is when you are surrounded by other people. This is less physical aloneness than an ache that normally is felt deep inside of you. When surrounded by other people, it is easy to run from our loneliness, well this is what we like to think anyway, but actually being alone when we are not alone, maybe it isn’t that we shouldn’t feel it but that we feel there is no excuse for this feeling, this ache, How can we feel this loneliness when surrounded by other human bodies.

But maybe that is the problem, thinking that loneliness or feeling lonely should be prevented when you are surrounded by other people. Loneliness can happen in so many different ways, when we feel we don’t fit in, or when we feel misunderstood, left out. Loneliness can happen when we compare the feeling of our empty lives next to someone who’s looks full to the brim. It can happen living in a big bustling city where everyone is out and you are home alone, or living in a small town where you can see or hear nothing for miles. There is so many different types, yet just one word we use, lonely.

I guess the first step to defining to feeling of being alone, is what this means to you. Defining the type of loneliness you feel. Naming it, becoming aware of it, maybe only then does it get easier to sit with. When you use one word to define this complicated, multi-faceted feeling, it can become too unconformable to sit with.

So I guess the first question ask when you feel like this. Why? Explore the deep inner workings of your mind, where is this coming from, is it coming from what other people have, what you don’t have, what you want or not being able to be physically alone with your thoughts, emotions, feelings. Why don’t we just start with the why, nothing more, only exploring why we might feel this ache. All I ask is you become aware, taking small baby steps instead of trying to take one giant leap towards a cure.