To Do The Work
It is learning to be happy right where you are, or at least content, that is the game changer. To enjoy your inner world without looking forward to the future. Learning to stay right here in the moment which is the toughest way to live. I guess we don't talk about how tough it is to train our brain away from future thinking, past dwelling and instead truly living in the here and now. We are told this is what we should do, but not how hard it is to keep coming back, to train the brain again and again to stay right where it is. It is tough, tough work. The more you want to control the future by overthinking in the present, the more unhappy you become in the present, fearing what might come up.
The other day I was walking and thinking about later in the day, what I could do now to protect against any 'negative feelings' later. The funny thing was, right in that moment, I was experiencing the 'negative feelings' but doing nothing about it. I was so focused on the future, overthinking what I might need later, what might come up, the fearing of any future unhappiness, I wasn't taking care of where I was in that moment. I rarely do this. Rarely am able to stop and see what I am doing, the need to control. But this day I became aware. I came back, I walked with the feeling ,realising that all I could do in that moment, right then, was let those feelings flow through me, walk with them, allow them, not dwell on the future or the past, but be exactly where I was in that moment.
When it boils down to it, we all want to live a life of joy, happiness, pleasure. But the human experience, it has always been filled with a variety of emotions, but in this world, this society, it has been built so we can run away from any feeling that might be uncomfortable. I guess the way to find true contentment, balance, regulation, is allowing all those emotions to flow, the good ones, the bad ones, the scary ones. Stay off your phone, bringing your overthinking mind back to the present and just being. So difficult to do, taking each and every day to practise, I am not there yet, but I am more aware than I have been in the past. My aim is no longer happiness, joy, success, but allowing the full human experience to flow, to seek contentment, balance, sadness, anger, joy, happiness, pleasure. I know, for me, this is the true path to true authenticity.
